Nowadays one sees a growing trend that alarms even the less religious. A growing number of people now use the internet to live out their fantasies about other people. Some people see it as nothing more than a game and believe there is nothing wrong with it. They believe it’s not wrong because they don’t know the people and the people do not know them other than what they chose to disclose on the internet.

I am not passing judgement on anyone on whatever people chose to do with their lives. Rather I am trying to make these people face up to the reality that underpin their actions. Those people who believe an internet affair is safe and innocent couldn’t be more wrong. Internet affair is like a quicksand, it keeps sucking you in deeper and deeper even when you are seriously trying to get out.

Relationship Internet affairs and fantasies will hurt youMany would confess that internet affair usually progresses quickly from mere curiosity to serious flirtation that makes than become emotionally involved with the other person. Before they know they are negotiating arrangement to meet somewhere. Those who managed to resist the temptation to actually meeting the other person are not spared the emotional consequences. The reality often denied is by the time you start sharing on an emotional level with a fantasy person it would have captured part of your heart. The fallout from this situation you find yourself is the fantasy person will seem better and more interesting than your partner.

Aside from the difficulties of divorce or separation from your loved one(s), fantasies acted out on the internet or in real life can be harmful for a number of important reasons. You have to bear in mind that even a mere emotional affair can cause irreparable damage to an imperfect but workable relationship. It’s all you need to end a relationship that is going through some difficult phase. There is nothing that hurts more than a betrayal. Of course, a relationship can recover from an affair but the road to such recovery can be steep and painful.

The biggest problem with fantasy is that it makes you believe you can do better or the other person can give you all you ever wanted in a relationship. The “I can do better” fantasies are usually just that—fantasies. They always lead to even deeper disappointment than what you are currently facing because they are beliefs based usually based on delusions. In cyberspace, anyone can be anything they wish to claim to be. So it is very easy to put on a good front for a short period of time.

Now very long after you take the plunge, the person you believe is gentle, caring, tender, understanding, very good looking and exciting who is coming to rescue you from the doldrums of a bad relationship is likely to look quite different once you really get to know them. Soon after you begin to wonder why you didn’t think that a person who knows you are in a relationship and still want relationship with you is most likely to have problems with commitment. Someone like that is not really the kind of person that will help you discover something better.

Thomas Kinkade wrote in The Many Loves of Marriage, that:

“People get a divorce, link up with someone new, and suddenly they’re doing all the fun romantic stuff—moonlight walks and bicycle rides and exotic getaways. They could have done all of those things with the spouse they just left, but they didn’t. As a result, they endure the trauma and humiliation of a wrenching divorce, shattering change in their lives, great financial loss, and bitter, deeply wounded children… all for the sake of “new romantic experiences.”

Thomas Kinkade went further to ask one important:

“And how long do you think that relationship will last?”

The moral of this is that you cannot find happiness by indulging in fantasies. People have found through experiences that delusion does not build but destroy happiness. Be advised that no matter how bad your relationship is currently and how unhappy you feel about it, your chances of finding lasting happiness in the form of “someone better” are slim indeed. So it makes more sense to invest more of your time, energy, and emotions into making your current marriage better.